Come Near To The Altar

[00:00:15] Speaker A: One of life's certainties is that some things bear repeating. Some things bear repeating. Repetition is a principle of learning, particularly in Judaism. The Talmud itself says in Chagigah, it says that the one who recites or. [00:00:35] Speaker B: Reviews his studies 100 times is not to be compared to the one who. [00:00:41] Speaker A: Reviews them 101 times, meaning that even a single additional review of one's learning can make a significant difference in your mastery, in your understanding, and very importantly, in your application. Repetition has value. It's a principle that is celebrated that this extra effort and study the profound respect we have for learning. In JewisH tradition, it's about repeating, learning, repeating. [00:01:13] Speaker B: Or in the words of another great. [00:01:16] Speaker A: Master, I fear not the one who has practiced 10,000 kicks, but the one who has practiced one kick 10,000 times. Master Bruce Lee. [00:01:35] Speaker B: True. Very true. Though as I read this week's parsha. [00:01:40] Speaker A: It'S called Shmini, I was reminded of a message that I taught many years ago. Actually, some of you will remember it, most of you will not. But I remembered the days after teaching this message and the feedback and the comments that I got, and it made. [00:01:59] Speaker B: It for me, one of the most. [00:02:00] Speaker A: Memorable things that I have ever shared. So I wanted to revisit it with you today because it jumped off the page at me again to remind you. [00:02:11] Speaker B: To let you repeat this bit of. [00:02:13] Speaker A: Learning, which for some of you will not be a repetition at all. [00:02:17] Speaker B: But the chances are that no matter if I said it once, you've long. [00:02:23] Speaker A: Since forgotten it and may potentially still in your life face some of the struggles which I addressed in that teaching on Shmini. And I believe that this parsha contains. [00:02:35] Speaker B: For me, one of the most powerful things that you can learn from the. [00:02:42] Speaker A: Bible, from the Torah. It is contained in two words, one word in Hebrew. We are called to be light. I'm not going to tell you what the words are right now. You have to stick around for that. We're called to be disciples. And yet, the truth of the matter is, you and I are prone to fail, prone to failure, capable of falling short. And so this message is to be. [00:03:18] Speaker B: Reminded, to relearn, to reengage with not. [00:03:23] Speaker A: Only can we be something amazing for God, that's what he made you to be. [00:03:31] Speaker B: He wants you to be that. He created you with excellence, for excellence. [00:03:38] Speaker A: Excellence. That's what God did when he made you. [00:03:42] Speaker B: You weren't garbage. You weren't a sinful, disgusting blob of. [00:03:48] Speaker A: Human flesh that just needed to say. [00:03:51] Speaker B: A prayer so that you could finally. [00:03:53] Speaker A: Be a decent human. [00:03:54] Speaker B: No, you've been created for excellence. [00:03:58] Speaker A: And sometimes we forget that. So I want to remind you of that in a very powerful way. Sounds like something we could benefit from, right? I wonder if any of you have ever fallen short. Thank you for that. That's the confirmation I was looking for. [00:04:24] Speaker B: I wonder if any of you have ever failed and then for some period of time, or still remain to some degree paralyzed by some bad decision or. [00:04:38] Speaker A: Failure you encountered in your life. Some of us do. Probably most of us. So there's a lesson in Leviticus. But like so many things in Leviticus, it's so easy to miss this life changing truth surrounded by the sacrifices and rams and goats and tabernacles. It's so easy to dismiss the story. [00:05:01] Speaker B: Of the people in the Torah, in. [00:05:05] Speaker A: The Bible that these things are happening to. We miss them. [00:05:09] Speaker B: The players, their lives are affected by. [00:05:11] Speaker A: What we read on these pages. And it's 2000 years of misunderstandings about boring old Leviticus and doing away with sacrifices. [00:05:23] Speaker B: But the sages of Israel bring an incredibly deep and interesting interpretation to something that happens in one word in Hebrew, two words in English. It's about the events of the inauguration of the priesthood, of offering the sacrifices in the Mishkan. And they bring this deep interpretation, saying virtually nothing about the Mishkan, but instead about Aaron, the one who is called. [00:05:54] Speaker A: And indirectly with us. But we'll miss it with a plain reading. So, as I often like to do, we'll draw on the Torah text, but we'll also draw on Rashi. We'll draw on tradition. We'll draw on midrash, and we'll draw on Jonathan sacks. Here's the story in Parshat Shmini. It was on the 8th day Moses summoned Aaron and his sons and the elders of Israel. [00:06:23] Speaker B: He said to Aaron, take for yourself a young bull for a sin offering, and a ram for an elevation offering, unblemished. [00:06:29] Speaker A: And offer them before Hashem. [00:06:31] Speaker B: To the children of Israel, speak as take a he goat for a sin offering, and a calf and a sheep in their first year unblemished. [00:06:39] Speaker A: For an elevation offering, and a bull. [00:06:41] Speaker B: And a ram for a peace offering to slaughter before Hashem, and a meal offering mixed with oil. For today, Hashem appears to you already we've lost the majority of the Bible reading world. [00:06:58] Speaker A: In five verses. You have to keep reading. They took what Moses had commanded to the front of the tent, a meeting, and the entire assembly approached and stood before Hashem. [00:07:12] Speaker B: Moses said, this is the thing that Hashem has commanded you to do. Then the glory of Hashem will appear to you. Moses said to Aaron, come near to the altar. [00:07:30] Speaker A: And there it is. [00:07:33] Speaker B: Did you hear it? Did you get it? [00:07:41] Speaker A: One of the most amazing messages about. [00:07:44] Speaker B: Forgiveness, empowerment, grace, a future overcoming failure. How many of you would read that and stop and think, wow, that is transformative, that is life changing. That empowers me to be the person I've always wanted to be? How many of you hear that in those words, come near? [00:08:09] Speaker A: Most people don't, but it's there. And here it is. [00:08:13] Speaker B: Karav el hamizbayach. Moses said to Aaron, come near to the altar and perform the service of the various offerings. Why did he say that to Aaron? Aaron has been seven days in preparation. He's been a part of this thing from the beginning. He knows how to offer the sacrifices. He knows the time is now. Is he dense? Is Moses saying, come on, come on, big brother, right foot, left foot, right. Come near. Come up here and do the thing. [00:08:53] Speaker A: The language, according to the Midrash, is quite purposeful. [00:08:57] Speaker B: Moses says, come near to Aaron because he is responding to Aaron's behavior. [00:09:09] Speaker A: When Aaron is called. Aaron knew how to do it. He certainly knew how to walk. [00:09:14] Speaker B: He knew where he needed to be. Why was he standing at a distance from the altar? Why does Moses have to come and say, aaron, come on, brother? Why? [00:09:29] Speaker A: Because Aaron was afraid. That's why. That's what the commentators and midrash tell. [00:09:40] Speaker B: Us from these words. Kaurav el Hamiz Bayach, draw near to the altar. Why, you ask? In this great moment of elevation, Aaron is being called as the high priest. He is going to be the one who offers atonement for all of the people of Israel. He is going to be the one who enters in, the only one who enters into the holy of holies to make atonement before the very presence of God. The only one. Why would he be afraid? Why would he hesitate? The easy, logical answer is, because God can be kind of scary. Just ask Nadav and Avihu, who in the next chapter are going to be consumed because they brought unauthorized fire. You could say, well, that's why. [00:10:39] Speaker A: But it's something else. Aaron was afraid, but not of God. Aaron was afraid of himself. He was afraid before God. The tabernacle is completed. The priesthood is being inaugurated. It's the final day. The sacrifices are to be offered. [00:11:02] Speaker B: Moses looks to Aaron and says, draw near. Come near. You're up. [00:11:10] Speaker A: And according to our midrash, Aaron is standing back. [00:11:15] Speaker B: And as Moses says, he says in his mind or in his words or whatever he says. [00:11:23] Speaker A: Me? How could I? I am a failure, a miserable failure. And he hesitates. He doesn't step in. He's backed up. Why? Because the midrash goes on to say. [00:11:47] Speaker B: That when Aaron saw the horns of. [00:11:51] Speaker A: The altar that were before him, he saw different horns. [00:11:57] Speaker B: You'll remember another time when Aaron was involved in an animal with horns. Right? [00:12:06] Speaker A: Some opinions say that he saw there the form of a bull that Israel had worshiped and was frightened by it and immediately transported back to that moment. [00:12:17] Speaker B: Of his most significant failure. Tradition reports it as Aaron's only sin. [00:12:27] Speaker A: And that is what he saw before. [00:12:29] Speaker B: Him when Moses is calling him forward, the reminder of the golden calf, which represents Aaron's singular failure. Miserable failure. Other scholars explain that it was Hasatan. [00:12:47] Speaker A: Who created this apparition that he saw. [00:12:52] Speaker B: Because that picture, that idea, that feeling, it communicates one thing to Aaron. [00:13:03] Speaker A: No matter what, no matter how you. [00:13:06] Speaker B: Dress up, no matter how you act, no matter what these people think about you, no matter what show you put. [00:13:14] Speaker A: On, you failed, and you're a failure. You are an imposter, and you have no business here. The Midrash teaches that this was the voice Aaron heard, but it was his own voice. So Aaron stood back, paralyzed by the imposter syndrome, which Rabbi sacks, in an article I read many years ago, he teaches about the imposter syndrome. 1978. You find this phrase, this coined condition, describing individuals who are marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments, and they have this persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud. [00:14:16] Speaker B: Despite whatever external evidence there is to support the fact that they are competent. [00:14:28] Speaker A: They persist in the idea that they. [00:14:31] Speaker B: Don'T deserve the success they've achieved, that proof of success is nothing but luck or timing, the result of deceiving others into thinking that they're more than they. [00:14:40] Speaker A: Really are and they're more intelligent or. [00:14:44] Speaker B: Competent they believe themselves to be. [00:14:46] Speaker A: That's the imposter syndrome. And listen. Aaron knew who he was, and he knew that he had failed. That was the reality of the golden calf. That sin was firmly fixed in his mind. [00:15:04] Speaker B: My sin is ever before me, the. [00:15:07] Speaker A: Psalms say, aaron's sin ever before him. [00:15:11] Speaker B: And there he stood, on the cusp. [00:15:15] Speaker A: Of being called into greatness. But I wonder, has anyone ever felt that feeling? Not even on the cusp of greatness. Just the feeling. Of course you have. [00:15:33] Speaker B: Who, me? I've done this or that, or this. [00:15:39] Speaker A: Has happened to me. [00:15:40] Speaker B: I could never. [00:15:42] Speaker A: I could never. [00:15:44] Speaker B: And it's ever before me. At least it's present within me that Aaron's sin was ever before him. Because he was righteous, because of that single failing. He's saying, I can't do this. I can't represent these people before God. Who am I? Look what I've done. [00:16:13] Speaker A: But it's Moshe's words, according to the midrash. That I really want to talk about a little bit more next week, I think. I'm not sure. [00:16:21] Speaker B: But there to me, one of the. [00:16:24] Speaker A: Most powerful parts of this thing. [00:16:26] Speaker B: Where Moses says, for this, you were chosen. This is what God has commanded you to do. Aaron, brother, it's time to overcome it. It's time to let go of that. It's time to begin again. [00:16:51] Speaker A: Many of us suffer from this. Many of us suffer from this idea. [00:16:56] Speaker B: That we have to be perfect. [00:16:58] Speaker A: That if anyone finds out we're not. [00:16:59] Speaker B: All we look like, we'll be found out. [00:17:04] Speaker A: For the imposters we really are. [00:17:06] Speaker B: And you know what? [00:17:06] Speaker A: That is such an unbelievable prison cell to live your life. And you know how I know? Because I've lived in it. I still live in it. You know, who knows you really knows you. Your spouse, your kids, your parents. Of course, God knows you. [00:17:30] Speaker B: He knows you like what you're thinking and what's in here. He knows you. And Moses implies to Aaron, the words aren't there. But he says, lecha Nevcharta. For this you were chosen. Step into it, brother. How God knows me? [00:18:05] Speaker A: Aaron, brother, Moses says, this is our God. [00:18:13] Speaker B: This is our God who takes the broken, the unworthy, the sinner, and through their experiences, he can bring them into a new calling, into becoming something new, a new person. And let's face it, the golden calf. Yeah, that's a pretty big deal. Even if it was the only sin, it's a pretty big deal. And you can understand the feeling. How can God possibly use me for this task after demonstrating such an incredible inability to lead and to be an example? And my friends, I've said the same thing. And believe me, I've got a lot more than one sin. I got a whole laundry list of. [00:19:00] Speaker A: Things that I can ask that question to God about. [00:19:04] Speaker B: It brings to mind the hero that we talked about last week. You'll remember him, right? [00:19:12] Speaker A: His name is Kifa. [00:19:15] Speaker B: He seemingly blew it pretty bad. He threw in the towel, and that was it. Like, talk about an imposter. I'll. No matter what, I'll die for you before I abandon you. [00:19:32] Speaker A: Gone. [00:19:34] Speaker B: So much so that after the ordeal of the resurrection and apparently the empty tomb and all this thing, Peter just simply says, I'm going fishing. [00:19:44] Speaker A: You can have it. [00:19:48] Speaker B: I'm a miserable failure. There's no coming back from this. Do you know what I've done? His sin was ever before him. But guess what? He did come back from it. [00:20:09] Speaker A: In a powerful way. [00:20:10] Speaker B: Feed my lambs. Follow me. Will you do it? Yes. [00:20:20] Speaker A: I'll step into it. We have people like this everywhere in the world. Probably in this room. I know. In here. You know why? [00:20:30] Speaker B: Because I'm one of them. [00:20:35] Speaker A: I've lived my life at times, moments that are so not perfect, so. So not godly, so much so that. [00:20:44] Speaker B: I would never want to talk about. [00:20:46] Speaker A: Them with anyone, with. Except God. And if you knew the extent of the things that I've done and the hurt I've inflicted and all of the things that I've done in my life, you'd say, gosh, how can I even be a rabbi? You'd say, how can he even be alive? And some of you have probably made equally bad decisions. Things that you are not proud of. [00:21:18] Speaker B: Things that you regret. [00:21:22] Speaker A: Things that you. [00:21:23] Speaker B: Do differently if you could, but you. [00:21:25] Speaker A: Can'T because they're done. Marriage stuff. [00:21:32] Speaker B: Stuff with your kids, with your parents, your lifestyle, your choices, your relationship with God, whatever. The thing is, there are so many areas. It's so easy to mess up, isn't it? [00:21:47] Speaker A: And listen to just get personal. [00:21:49] Speaker B: You know, Kelly and I, many times in our religious experience, have felt this so strongly. [00:21:57] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. Are we total imposters? [00:22:02] Speaker B: Like, we've been in communities where you had to. You had to be this holy thing. If you weren't doing that, everyone was looking, your kids weren't watching. If you let your kids watch a certain movie, or God only knows by what standard you were measured, but if you didn't measure it. [00:22:24] Speaker A: You'Re not holy, and that crap sticks. [00:22:31] Speaker B: It sinks in. [00:22:32] Speaker A: It stays with you. We've been judged on so many levels in so many ways for not being lofty and holy people. And we've asked God many times, are. [00:22:46] Speaker B: We even, what are we doing? Like, what are we? Can we do this? [00:22:52] Speaker A: But you know what? [00:22:53] Speaker B: Thank God. That was years ago. [00:22:57] Speaker A: But I've been there, and I've felt it, and I still feel it in so many ways, and I still continue. [00:23:04] Speaker B: To make mistakes, and we never measure. [00:23:06] Speaker A: Up, any of us, to this perfect standard. But, you know, I heard something somewhere along the way, something similar to what. [00:23:14] Speaker B: Aaron and Peter probably heard, which is. [00:23:16] Speaker A: Yeah, you know what? [00:23:18] Speaker B: You have been a dastardly dude at. [00:23:20] Speaker A: Times, but do you love me? Yes. All right, then we can go forward and God says to us, listen, I know about mistakes. Every one of you. He says, I know about mistakes. As a matter of fact, I knew you would make the mistakes. [00:23:47] Speaker B: As a matter of fact, if you had listened to me, you wouldn't have made the mistakes, but you did. [00:23:54] Speaker A: And guess what? Okay, okay. I know you worry about being perfect. [00:24:04] Speaker B: And if they see that you're just a human with a lot of cracks and imperfections, that somehow you'll be lowered in their eyes. And like Aaron, who asked, how can I offer these sacrifices when I, too am so imperfect and broken and have failed? I know you wonder, but this is what I want you to hear. [00:24:23] Speaker A: I know all that stuff. But, Karav, come near. Draw near. And like Moses told his beloved brother. [00:24:41] Speaker B: Understand, it was for this that you were chosen. This. This is what God commanded you to do. [00:24:54] Speaker A: And God says to us, my son came to be the perfect standard of righteousness for you. And guess what? He didn't fail. [00:25:02] Speaker B: He succeeded. That is the standard by which you. [00:25:05] Speaker A: Will one day ultimately be measured. That work, though, is finished. [00:25:11] Speaker B: But I'm not finished with you. Do you love me? Yes. We say, then follow me. For this, you were chosen. [00:25:26] Speaker A: I put myself in there because it's our story. [00:25:29] Speaker B: But it's your story. You see it. I've combined Peter and Aaron because we share their stories. We want to be the one who's never going to let God down. We want to be the one who, you know, looks holy all the time, and everything is perfect in our lives. And that's such a lie. That's such a disastrous. Yes, you should strive for that. Yes, that would be great. We want to be everything that we think looks great, to be a representative for God. We should try to, but we often fail in that. Often fail. But what Moses told Aaron, what Yeshua told Peter, what your father in heaven tells you, draw near for this. You were chosen. Don't be paralyzed. To be paralyzed by past problem that prohibits your future progress. [00:26:23] Speaker A: You realize it. Most people do not. Most people are absolutely cemented somewhere, maybe. [00:26:31] Speaker B: One day, one event, a series, a period of time in their lives which absolutely has cemented them back there. And no matter how much they may, they want to come near. They want to draw forward, but their feet are in cinder blocks. [00:26:50] Speaker A: And they can't. And maybe that was Aaron, but Moses says, brother, come on, come near. You know, Aaron, from his time of the golden calf to this was a very short amount of time, actually. [00:27:15] Speaker B: From Peter's denial to Yeshua's call to. [00:27:20] Speaker A: Him, that was actually a very short amount of time. But like I just said, you know what? For some of us who deal with this, it's not a very short time. [00:27:28] Speaker B: It happened a long time ago. [00:27:34] Speaker A: And you can't stay there. You can't stay there. This feeling of being like Aaron, ever conscious of a sin, a failure, a shortcoming of seeing yourself through the wrong pair of eyes? You know, I told you that. The midrash suggests that as he's looking at the altar, Aaron, the thing that he's supposed to see, he sees this ox atop the altar and these horns. [00:28:09] Speaker B: And listen, as if God had put it there to say, you can never do that. No, the midrash says, hasatan, put it there. Better word. Enemy. The adversary, the one who wants you to stay in the concrete blocks and never move forward. He likes you there. [00:28:31] Speaker A: He does. But you know what? Sometimes we don't need any kind of. [00:28:38] Speaker B: Adversary or enemy to keep us locked. [00:28:41] Speaker A: In our concrete blocks. You know why? Because you do a fantastic job of it yourself sometimes. [00:28:47] Speaker B: We create all of our own golden. [00:28:49] Speaker A: Oxes that we see everywhere, that paralyze us. We concern ourselves truly in the imposter syndrome with the idea that no matter what progress we made, we'll always be tied to that thing or those things, that you'll always be an imposter, because God knows what you've done, what you've been. It's only a matter of time until. [00:29:20] Speaker B: The world knows, and, oh, my gosh, it all falls apart. [00:29:26] Speaker A: Nah. I got good news. [00:29:27] Speaker B: Aaron's story, Peter's story, even Moses story. Moses was sort of the same way at the burning bush, right? I could never. I could never. I could never. Their story is our story. [00:29:43] Speaker A: Maybe not quite as dramatic, but surrounded by the gracious and merciful God that we call father, he calls us to repentance. [00:29:51] Speaker B: He receives us. He sets us back on our feet. He takes a spiritual sledgehammer, and ever so delicately, without hitting your ankles or your toes, bashes the hell out of the concrete blocks that hold you fixed in position so that you can take. [00:30:09] Speaker A: A step forward. [00:30:12] Speaker B: Bashes the hell out of them. The spiritual language. [00:30:15] Speaker A: The language is intentional. [00:30:19] Speaker B: It's intentional because that is where your adversary, whether it's your own mind or. [00:30:26] Speaker A: Some external creation, wants you to be. So anyway, God can then say, if you'll hear it, this is what you're made for. What is your this? [00:30:41] Speaker B: Aaron was the high priest. Peter was the rock. You're a rabbi. What's my this? What am I? I don't know. You gotta know. You're this. You gotta figure out you're this, but you gotta know you have a this or a hundred. This is. I don't know. And your past informs your this, Moses, to Aaron, it was for this you were chosen. And there's something really cool that is also part of the jewish explanation of this text, which is to say, why Aaron for this? Why is Moses so particular? He's saying, aaron, you above all people understand what it feels like to be forgiven, to have atonement, to have failed miserably, and to be lifted up again and given the opportunity to walk into the presence of God. Brother, you know it more than anyone. So for this, you're going to offer atonement for the people because of your failure. [00:32:00] Speaker A: And so I just wonder, have any of you experienced in your lives ever a miserable failure in which God was able to turn around and point you in a better direction from it? I hope so, because there's something truly beautiful about it. The imposter syndrome can be bad news or good news, depending on what you do with it. If you feel it, if you feel. [00:32:28] Speaker B: It, are you going to just become. [00:32:31] Speaker A: Depressed and despair about it? [00:32:33] Speaker B: Or are you going to say, I have been called for this. Are you going to allow it to work? Is it going to lead you to work at your weaknesses, to elevate, to turn them into strengths? Because the one who believes in you, in each of our stories, you realize someone had to believe in them. For Aaron, it was Moses. For Yeshua, I mean, for Peter, it was Yeshua. [00:33:07] Speaker A: And for all of us, it's him. If no one else, at least him. Just this last saxism here. That is the role that God plays in all our lives, if we're truly open to him. I have often said that the mystery at the heart of Judaism is not our faith in God. It is God's faith in us. I love it. It's in my favorite quotes file. God's faith in us. Aaron was not an imposter, and neither are we in all these things. Whatever these things are, we are more than conquerors. That's what Paul says. His own set of failures pursued him for some period of time as well. All these things, these things can lead. [00:34:17] Speaker B: You to your this or to your. [00:34:20] Speaker A: 99Th, this or however many this is you're going to do in life. Who knows whatever lies behind. We push forward with boldness, knowing that. [00:34:33] Speaker B: We have a this for which we've. [00:34:35] Speaker A: Been chosen, and that the God of. [00:34:37] Speaker B: The universe waits for you and beckons you. [00:34:42] Speaker A: Korav, come near. So don't hesitate. I want you to step into it. Shabbat Shalom I know you just listened to me talk for a long time, but I want to tell you one last thing in conclusion. I was talking with Jim and Carolyn yesterday from Indiana, who stopped by on their way back home, and they were expressing their such positive experience with this community and the hospitality and the love and the care. And Jim asked me, who does that? What kind of community? How, how did it develop? And I realized, and these words came to my mind through the furnace of affliction. That's how it developed from many of the things that I talked about and the experiences that we've had in congregational leadership. All of us, Kelly and I, the elders, all of us. But today, Shalom Macon is the community that gives you the freedom to be whoever you are without any judgment or expectation that you're going to be, that you don't have to be an imposter, you don't have to put on anything. And I thanked God last night as I was going to sleep thinking about some of those words that I wrote seven or eight years ago that I've removed from that message because it's not there anymore. This is a community. We are the anti imposter syndrome community, and we thank God for it. [00:36:28] Speaker C: Please visit our website, shalomachen.org, to learn more about us. Join our live services, access other teachings, sign up for our newsletter, join our private network that will connect you with our greater community from around the world, or contribute to the work of Shalom, Macon. Thank you for watching, and we look forward to connecting with.